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The Ramblings Inside My Creative Mind: Happy Father's Day Sounds Bittersweet

This is my third fatherless father’s day and tomorrow will mark three years since he’s been gone. The continuous rain outside represents my mood perfectly. You assume after three years that grief subsides, but on days like today it’s as almost it happened yesterday. The sound of my wailing when my mom said “He’s gone” echoes in my head. I want to go back and hold that girl, past me, tell her that’ll it’ll be ok, but three years later I’m not sure if I’m ok.
        To hear people say to one another “Happy Father’s Day” is depressing. It causes jealousy. How come I don’t have my dad? It’s not fair, but it never is. While everyone celebrates I curl up in the bed and weep. That’s been my father’s day for three years. To lose him on father’s day weekend adds an extra sting. Last year his death date fell on father’s day and I hurt to my bones. It’s not fair.
        My saving grace is my uncle who checks in from time to time, especially around this time. Although he missed me at work…

What Happens When Love Doesn't?

Two hearts untangle
Finding a rhythm of their own
Lasting gazes erase
Avoiding the aching soul
Smiles fade
As does the happiness
Paths divide
Leading two from one
Something meant to be
Becomes to be no more
What hurts does heal
What dies is reborn
Hearts beat and tangle once again
Pulses race
Mind and body collide
You succumb to the fall
Dreaming wide awake
Finally felling
What happens when love does

- Asia Aneka Anderson, What Happens When Love Doesn't? 2019(c)




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Could always use the hug

The Ramblings Inside My Creative Mind: Hey Kids, Let’s Talk About Mental Illness

Did everyone pull through the Mercury retrograde with everything intact? I hope so, because if it unraveled it’s a bitch trying to put it back together again. I’m speaking for me, of course. Depression is already my oldest friend, seasonal depression is my depression’s older meaner cousin that depression invites over for the holidays (WITHOUT MY PERMISSION) that doesn’t leave for several months on end, then when I get that bastard to finally leave here comes Mercury being all emotional and taking me down with her. In short the last few months have been nothing but a huge dumpster fire.         Moods change without warning. Tears come without provoking. Exhaustion comes when sleep is abundant. Mercury has her shit in check finally but the aftershocks and events to come leave little sunlight. Seasonal depression always hits me hard because the feeling of being stuck gets overwhelming. I know I mention a lot that I miss Chicago and I want to move back, but Chicago just represent…

The Ramblings Inside My Creative Mind: You Might Be A Homophobe If...

I’m not going to be nice in this post because I’m absolutely tired of the same repetitive bullshit when it comes to marginalized groups. In 2019 I refuse to keep going back and forth and back and forth with people when my underlying message to everyone is to let everyone live their best lives. Period.          So, whether you watched the Oscars or not. Whether you know who Billy Porter is or not (He’s on Pose, was on the last season of American Horror Story, and for me personally, I will always remember him from the movie The Broken Hearts Club) you know that Billy came to slay your whole life in an amazing tuxedo dress that was an homage to Hector Xtravaganza who is very well known in the ballroom community and recently passed in December. No matter your opinion on sexuality you have to admit that the dress was fierce. That’s what award shows are all about, the fashion.            Something as simple as a dress on a man is causing so much controversy and as I see it, persona…

True Love's Last Kiss

It was in a moment
A moment I can’t remember
I search for that feeling
One I can’t grasp

Forgotten the last
While the first stamped on my heart
Still I feel butterflies
That feeling when our lips first touched

If only I knew the last was it
I would’ve savored the taste
Your soul lingered with mine
As if it were to last forever

Our souls separate
Float along wandering a different universe
Trying to reconnect the disconnect
Where do I go?

I capture a moment
Memory still fresh of true love’s first kiss
A first touch
A last glance

I stand bare before you
These lips part
“Should I go?”
“Yes.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson, True Love's Last Kiss 2019(c)

The Ramblings Inside My Creative Mind: Yeah, #MeToo

A lot of people are talking about it but I had to add in my two cents about the Lifetime docuseries about R. Kelly. First of all let me say that watching this has been completely draining. I personally was never sexually molested as a child and it was still draining and triggering, so I can’t imagine someone who actually went through it and how their emotions were while watching this.          I guess one of the reasons this story rubs me the wrong way is because I was sexually assaulted my freshman year in high school and I always ALWAYS said the dude that did it looked like R. Kelly. I even wrote about the incident before on my Tragic Crush Tales. There was something about his eyes that was just creepy and evil the same as I see R. Kelly.           So my two cents has more to do with the response than the actual doc. The allegations and his weird ass creepy behavior are old news. Everyone knew he was a pedophile way back in the Aaliyah days. My problem is with the loads of …