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Showing posts from August, 2014

Everything

I have nothing.
I crave nothing.
I am nothing.

Something can rise from nothing.
Something I can create.
Something to live for.

From a little bit of something I can find my everything.
Everything I can hope for.
Everything I will hold in my heart.

-Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites

Just My Type

I just want a guy that will make me laugh.
A guy that will give me flowers on any other day except Valentine’s Day.
That will not look at me like I’m immature when I make a dick joke, but instead will add to it.
One that will understand that I like my space.
That knows when I say “I’m fine” to just hug me and leave me alone.
One that will motivate me.
A guy that’s willing to be spontaneous with me.
One that won’t mind movie marathon nights.
A guy that’s ready for a big family.
One that will appreciate my randomness and quirkiness.
One that I can have long talks with about nothing and everything.
A guy that I can call my best friend.
One that will love me for me.

 -Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites
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A message to brighten your day on a walk in Dayton
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Review: Mane 'n Tail Shampoo & Conditioner

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This week when I washed my hair I was finally able to use the Mane 'n Tail shampoo and conditioner. I haven't used this brand since I was a kid and that was back when I had a relaxer.
 With the shampoo I didn't need to use much. Just a few quarter sized amounts in the palm of my hand was enough to cover my whole head, and it is pretty thick. I can't describe what it smells like. The closest I can think of is a bouquet of flowers, but just a bit more subtle, either way I'm just trying to say that it smells great. At first I could tell that it made my hair feel light and clean, but as I rinsed it felt like my hair was stripped of ALL moisture. The conditioner made it a little better.

 Same as the shampoo, I didn't need to use much. The smell was exactly the same also. I left it on for about 3 minutes. Afterwards my hair felt a little better and fuller once I rinsed it out. No too many complaints on the conditioner. Once my hair dried though I had to use a little …

It Happens For a Reason

The battles you fight and win.
The battles you fight and lose.
Everything happens for a reason.
People come in and out of your life.
Each bringing a lesson.
They are there for a reason.
The path you walk down may be endlessly rocky.
The issues you face can knock you down.
You are not a victim of bad luck.
You are not a target of karma.
Right now in this moment is where you’re supposed to be.
Make the most of it.

-Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites

Dreaming

Every night I close my eyes I see your face
Dreams of you bring a momentary happiness
My dreams are a place where you are mine and I yours
My smile grows under the darkness of night
As the sun rises your presence becomes weaker
I slowly open my eyes to the heartbreak that you're not there
I feel that empty spot where your body should be
I slam my eyes shut hoping to stay in dreamland with you
Imagining you wrapping your arms around me from behind
You breathe in the coconut scent of my hair
I could feel so safe in your arms forever
Reality sets in as realize I'm all alone
The days drag as I anticipate a date with my dream man
One day I'll dream in broad daylight
One day I'll wake up and smile at the sight of your face
A lifetime I will gladly share with you
For now I'll await you in my dreams until that day comes

-Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites

Perfect

I’m looking for perfection.
A soft touch.
An inviting smile.
A warm heart.
Eyes that burn right through me.
That is my ideal of perfection.
Light headed in love.
Butterflies a flutter.
That’s all a woman can ask for.
Loving me for me.
Loving you for you.
This model of perfection wanders this Earth.
One day our paths shall meet.
Locked in a forever.
Our perfect love.

-Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites

Weapon of Choice

A pen in my hand is a weapon.
Unleashing vibrant characters on the page.
Building busy city streets.
Relationships written off.
New ones molded.
A notepad capturing the creations of my mind.
My weapon gives me a voice.
I can open your mind with this weapon in my hand.

-Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites

Vows To Myself

I have been trying so hard this year to make positive changes in my life. I'm mapping out ways to change my mind, body, and soul so that I can get closer to the person I want to be.

Mind
I used to love writing so very much. I am going to make a promise to myself to write at least 4 days a week. It doesn't matter if it's just a daily blog, poems, stories, etc. I just need to get back to what I used to love. My passion. Also you guys can assist me with this goal. I one day want to go on to be a writer, and the way you can help is by reblogging, liking, feedback, etc. For the most part we're all artists on Tumblr, whether it be drawing, music, fashion, writing, photography, etc and I feel we all should help each other. I post things to all my social media accounts (posted on my blogs) so share share share. It seems like the only things that get shared tons around here is fan art. Us writers need love too. Some of you, that have been so kind to me, I'd als…

Changes

I have been trying a lot lately to look at the small happy moments in life. I've been trying to make small changes in my life to lift my spirits. Although my spirits are still down for the most part I still find a glimmer of happiness. For as long as I can remember I've had body image issues. I agonized over everything from acne to weight. Towards the end of 2012 I had left Chicago and moved back to Ohio. My last few years in Chicago were brutal. Because of the job I had there stress and a crazy work schedule cause me to gain a ton of weight. I'll say it, I was over 200lbs. Throughout 2013 I went through a rough patch. Even though I hated my job in Chicago I loved the city. Leaving that behind put me into a terrible depression, that I actually haven't shaken completely yet. I figured towards the middle of 2013 that I needed to get back to a healthy weight. I had to force myself out of bed everyday. I eventually lost over 50lbs, but with my birthday being in October, I …

Last Words

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I have no words. When will people understand that this is why the country is outraged? These are the last words of unarmed men who were gunned down as if their lives meant nothing. Never forget who these, and the many others, who have been killed. Never stop fighting for equality and justice. You guys can read the full article here.

Castor Oil Challenge

So I'm taking part in the castor oil challenge. Personally, I've never used it, but I've seen a lot of people swear about so I'm very excited about this. You can register here. You have until Sept 7th. I purchased Jamaican Black Lavender castor oil from Amazon for pretty cheap. There's other brands recommended on the page where you register. If, like me, you've never used castor oil take a look at those recommendations, search YouTube and google for reviews. Hopefully some of you will join me in this challenge! :)

Me and my natural

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Hello, everyone. Well I previously posted about sharing my natural hair journey with you lovely folks. I really want to start off by showing you these pills I take on a daily basis.

 They're hair skin and nail pills. You can pretty much find these anywhere; Target, CVS, Walgreens, and even Dollar General. To be honest the ones at Dollar General have about 5,000 mcg of Biotin whereas everywhere else, like this one, only has about 3,000. I know a higher number is better, but the downside to the DG ones is that there's usually only about 50-60 pills to a bottle and everywhere else usually has anywhere from 150-200. Also if you get them from Walgreens or CVS it seems like they always have them for BOGO which is always great. I take these 2-3 times a day and have been for about 8 months. My hair has grown a bit, but not that 'down your back overnight' kind of result I'm always wishing for. I will say that my lower edges had broken off a lot due to stress. It wasn't …

Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder what could have been.
Sometimes I think about what it would’ve been to have you in my life now.
I trusted you more in a few months than people I’ve known my whole life.
I let you in with no questions asked.
Sometimes I wonder if I had been a comfort to you too.
Sometimes I wonder if we could’ve been more had I not been so stubborn.
Sometimes I wonder if you felt the same about me.
I think you did.
I let my loyalty to a friend who liked you cloud my happiness.
I know what it feels like to be betrayed.
I didn’t have the heart to do it to someone else.
In the end, even though I didn’t hurt her, I felt like I hurt you.
I could see in your eyes what you felt and I kept my distance.
Both of us with this secret affection for one another.
I was afraid that you’d be the man of my dreams and I’d be your disappointment.
Sometimes I felt like you deserved better.
You deserved someone who was secure enough to give you all of her love.
I couldn’t be the woman I wanted to be for y…

Review: Pantene for Natural hair Co-wash and Africa's Best hot oil treatment

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Now the co-wash from Pantene I have been using from the beginning of my transition. I. LOVE. IT!
 As soon as I put it in I can feel my hair become softer. It's not heavy at all and you don't need a lot. When I use the co-wash I use it by itself. I've seen some people use the Pantene shampoo for natural hair and then use the co-wash right after. For me I'm good with just the co-wash. It gets rid of all the build up alone, so in my opinion you don't need anything else when using the co-wash. Now when I use the co-wash I make sure to add water to it so that I'm not using a lot. I usually let it sit for about 5 minutes then rinse. I've heard from other bloggers that washing with cool water is ideal so that is what I do. I say use whatever temp you're okay with. Since it's summer, for me, the colder the better. Also I only use the co-wash 1-2 times a month. Now today I used a hot oil treatment since I've been slacking the past few months (I like to d…

Naturally Me

I have been natural for a year now. Everything has pretty much been trial and error with trying to find what oils are great for my hair, what shampoos are best, conditioners, treatments, styles, etc. I guess my hair would be classified as 4b or 4c. I've tried a lot of things over the past year so I'll be posting a few reviews of the stuff I've used. I'm by no means an expert so something that may work for my hair or that I may like may not work for you. I'll try to be a detailed as possible when describing the products I use. But one thing I know I can start by insisting you do is drink lots of water. Not just for your hair but just for your health. As someone who could probably put away a 2 liter of pop since birth I can't tell you just how much better I feel since I've stopped about 2 years ago and also how much weight I've lost. I won't lie though, I'll have a Mt. Dew once a month, but definitely not several everyday like I used too. Anyways,…
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Yay, kitties!
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Silly selfie
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Dayton Legend- Paul Laurence Dunbar (poet)
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The Oregon District
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What's a payphone?
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First of all let me say that I have so much respect for Donald Glover. I mainly have an adoration for him because a lot of what he says and raps about is something I can relate to. When he occasionally rants on twitter there’s always a ton of gossip blogs poking fun at him because they have no clue what he’s trying to say and I can understand what he’s saying on every level (maybe it’s a Libra thing).
This is a poem he posted (with the exception of the last 6 tweets) and it really spoke to me. For most of my life I’ve been referred to as “white girl”. Sometimes it was said in a hurtful context, but mostly in jest. With what’s been going on nonstop in the news lately, that label burns to the core. “White girl”. I’m called “white girl” because I listen to rock. I listen to most genres of music, but most people focus on the rock music, therefore I am a “white girl.” I’m called "white girl" because I’ve dated outside my race. I’m called “white girl” because I prefe…

Why talk if no one listens?

I am really heartbroken about the death of Robin Williams. It saddens me because I can’t imagine someone who seemed to have so much energy and happiness would do this. I’ve been crying so much because this news has taken me to a dark place. It’s reminded me that there’s no hiding from this and sometimes there’s no masking it no matter how hard you try. These thoughts they never stop and I’m always in my head. I’ve said before that I hate to say that I’m depressed because I’ve never been diagnosed but I’ve felt this way since before my teenage years and I’m now 31 feeling like I’m on my last leg. This can’t just be me feeling a little sad. Not for over 15 years. I even had a “friend” who recently told me that I only focus on the negative. That is NOT something you say to someone who has no control over their thoughts. If you don’t understand it, fine, but never belittle someone like that. Sometimes I can barely move, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t do anything. I st…
I don’t understand why some people around me get offended by the things I write about. I only write what I know, what I dream, and what I feel. If I can’t talk about any of those things then I wouldn’t be writing something that was real to me. Any story that I write from fiction has a background of reality. Each character I relate to. It’s either a person I was, am, or wish I could be. I use my experiences to say things that weigh heavy on me in hopes that someone can relate. It doesn’t mean that an event in my life makes me angry, sad, happy or any other emotion. It’s just something that happened. Everything that has happened and will happen in my life I use as a learning experience. Anything that has happened whether it be good or bad has molded the person I am today. In no way shape or form am I the person I want to be but all the things and people that I will come across will continue to shape me. I have blogged in the past about various things that have happened in …

Psychosis

What it’s like to live in a collapsed mind
Watching ideas and dreams spiral down a drain of madness
Confusion and anxiety mixed with chaotic creativity
Grasping for words in thin air that turn to ash in the palm
Making an effort that never takes physical form
Seeing a result without the hope of a beginning
A million thoughts going 80mph that disappear when the mouth opens
My collapsed mind feels like a ball of mush
Sopping wet with the words I want to say
Each day the mind tries to get stronger only to stay still
Visions of goals that have yet to be reached
One day, perhaps, the poison of the collapsed mind will drain
Leaving a quiet madness of only creativity to blossom

-Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites

... Be Happy

Dance in the rain.
The droplets don’t break you day.
The clouds don’t block your spirit.
You smile at the glimmer of sun that peeks through the darkness.
Keep spinning.
Keep smiling.
Let the rain roll off your skin.
And when the sun shines bright grin even brighter.
Keep spinning.
Keep smiling.


-Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites
Sometimes I feel bad if I say that I’m depressed, have anxiety, am an introvert, etc, because I have never been diagnosed. Actually the doctor I had back in Chicago would tell me that he didn’t like to diagnose people he just wanted to help them sort out whatever they were going through to get them on the right track (not sure if that was a good thing or bad thing, but he did help me through a lot). I just know what I feel and how I have always felt for as long as I can remember. I’m not certain if people who have been diagnosed take offense to someone like me. I don’t say things like that for attention or pity. I say it because I have no other words for it. It’s more than a feeling of sadness or anxiousness, especially since I’ve been like this for many many years. I often get irritated with people who tell me that it gets better or try to give me some uplifting words. I know that they mean well. I don’t see the way that I feel as a bad thing. It’s not a good thing eit…
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Does anyone else see what’s wrong with this post?

I saw this in my newsfeed the other day that was posted from a somewhat “famous” YouTuber. Don’t get me wrong, I think anyone with any sense would react if they felt threatened…. Although I think most would contact building management, a landlord, or even the police way before resorting to violence. My problem with this post is this person’s need to tell his/her huge following the race of this individual. I know most people, if you read this and are not a POC and can’t read between these lines, you’re probably thinking “What’s the big deal? If he/she looks through the peephole they’re going to notice race and sex first.” Agreed, and I know this would be info you would give if you were filing out a report, example: you would say something like “Average height black man, looks around early 20s, short hair, etc.”, but this isn’t a police report. It’s FB. To take the time out to post something “terrifying” on FB and to even st…

Who Am I?

I don’t do my writing exercise as often as I should. They say it takes 30 days to form a habit. This is not a habit that is sticking for some reason. I thought with this post I’d try to focus on something I know the most: Me :D lol jk, but seriously, I’ve said before that most of the characters I write about are based on myself. They’re either based on who I am, was, wish I were, or just overall some version of myself. Maybe if I write about what makes me tick it’ll help me form my characters a little better.
So first of all, who am I? I have no idea. Does anyone know the answer to that question? After all of these years I have no clue who I am. In the past I had some sort of idea who I was and who I envisioned I would be. When I was really little I imagined that I’d grow up to be some awesome teacher and reach out to kids. That was most definitely before I had even started school. Once I entered elementary school I realized that I hated kids and my first “What do you wan…

The Unconfident Preaching Confidence

The other day I was out shopping with my mom. It’s not even summer and the weather is scorching in Ohio. Of course it’s time to look for shorts and tank tops. Both of us being heavier it makes things quite difficult. We live in a society where, if you don’t have a tiny waist and small thighs, you should cover up. For months now I’ve been trying to lose weight and have lost over 30lbs so far. I’m not confident in myself even with this progress, but then again I can’t think of a time in my life where I was. While looking through racks and racks of summer clothes my mom got frustrated because the shorts were “too short”. I said “So? That’s how shorts are made nowadays unless you want something baggy/cargo.” She kept telling me that she couldn’t go out in shorts way above the knee and every time she kept saying “I can’t” my reply was “Says who?” I tried to explain to her as long as you’re happy with it, the outfit isn’t ill fitting, and it’s not breaking dress codes at work …

Sunrise, sunset

I spend my time waiting to waste away.
Sunrise, sunset.
Stuck in my mind, at war with my thoughts.
Day in, day out.
Sunrise, sunset.
The speed of the spinning world keeps me pinned to the bed.
Staring into an infinite abyss waiting to be devoured whole.
Sunrise, sunset.
The machine keeps beeping but the flatline is evident.
In an awoken coma scared stiff of the outside world.
Sunrise, sunset.
The important thoughts get lost in translation as the mind keeps turning.
Things that need to be said, quests to be conquered, demons defeated.
Sunrise, sunset.
There is a glimmer that the darkness will fade.
That day will come when I will greet the world with a grin.
From every Sunrise to Sunset.

-Asia Aneka Anderson
Tumblr: AsiaWrites

Background on Best Friends

Okay so I’ve been working a lot on a few books that I started a while ago. I just want to get a little feedback on this one called Best Friends. It’s nowhere near halfway done, but I want to put what I have so far out there. Now anytime I post something like this people mostly comment on grammar or punctuation errors. Since I am a perfectionist (to a degree) I know they exist, but it is my controlled chaos. They exist for a reason, mainly cause I know in particular spots where I can add or change things, but I just don’t what should change at this particular time. I just want feedback on the content. Is it something you would read? Is it something that would hold your interests? Do you connect with these characters and their story? Do you see it more as a novel, script, or both? I’ll also let you know that it is broken up and it doesn’t flow. Sorry. I wrote what I know I want in the story and this is what came to me first and unfortunately it doesn’t come to me in order, …

Best Friends

Their eyes locked for what seemed like forever. She was amazed to see her best friend standing right in front of her in his dashing tailored tuxedo at the altar. Everything about him was so dapper. His usually very tousled sandy colored hair had not one strand out of place and his olive skin radiated under the beams of sunlight that shone through the church windows. It was as if the Heaven’s were shining a spotlight on the only prize one could hope for. In just a few moments he would go from her being John, her best friend, to John, the husband. A chill slowly crept down her spine as “Here Comes the Bride” played on the church’s organ. There she proceeded to gracefully walk down the aisle wearing a long, strapless, white gown that draped so beautifully over her fair porcelain skin. Her wavy blonde hair looked stunning pinned up beneath her veil. She looked up at him standing there and felt as if they were the only two people in the room. The feelings she had for him we…