More than anything I wonder what it would feel like to wake up a different person. Someone who’s happy, always smiling, greets strangers, and has the ability to brush off negativity without a second thought. I want to know what it feels like to be a good person. I want to be someone who has positive people gravitate towards her. I want to wake up and know what it feels like to have people root for me and willing to pick me up when I fall. I wonder what it feels like to not have people disappear when times get tough. I’d like to know what it feels like being something other than second best. What would not being ignored feel like? I want to know what unconditional love feels like and not the kind of love that feels forced. I wonder what it feels like to love myself. I want to love me at my highs and my lows. I want to wake up and feel prepared to take on life. What does it feel like to be alive? I wonder what joy really is? I want to know what it’s like not being someone’s verbal punching bag, mainly my own. I’d like to know what it feels like not to be a disappointment. What does it feel like to really be heard? I wonder what it feels like to hear someone compliment me and actually believe it. I just really want to know what it feels like to wake up and not feel like my own enemy. I don’t want to be at war with myself, but the saga continues.

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