Bestie J was a girl I met at work in Ohio.
Since we didn’t work in the same department we really didn’t become
close until she was about to quit. We became really close over the years
and only had a few fallouts like friends usually do. It got to be a bit
much for me when every fallout was over pretty much the same thing.
The last few years of our friendship was mainly through text and social media since I had moved to Chicago. There were a few visits back home, but not many as money was very tight at the time. Two years ago money got extremely tight and I had to come back home to Ohio. J texted me that she was very excited I was coming home so that we could hang out like old times. Once I got back it really was like old times. J is one of those people who will never ask you to do something, she waits for you to contact her. So if I asked her to do something on a day she’s busy and tell her to call me when she’s free I may as well forget ever getting that call. Before I moved away from home she would either do this, or she would give me a shitload of excuses, her favorite was “I’m broke.” because apparently it costs a ton of money to have a conversation with a friend that you may not see for a while *sarcasm*. When I got back into town those same excuses resurfaced. By this time I was very depressed because of my situation and not having my friends there to take my mind off of it made me slip deeper into depression. I just felt like no one cared. I could barely eat, get out of bed, or find a reason to even get dressed. It was a horrible time for me. Two years later and I’m still trying to cope, although I am much better than what I was. In about a 6 month period J only messaged me about 3 times. I had written her off long before that. I couldn’t see myself being friends with someone who would bail when their friends were in need. I’ll admit one of those messages was to ask how I was, but the the conversation quickly turned into her complaining about her life. Why she would complain about her stable life to someone who just lost everything is beyond me. The second message I got from her about 4 months later was to tell me she was engaged and the third message was for my address to send an invite. My best friend didn’t even ask for me to be in her wedding. I was hurt by that, but I had to remind myself that this wasn’t anyone for me to be around anymore anyways.
I had gotten tired of excuses from J. There were far too many in our friendship. I probably wouldn’t be as upset if she gave all her friends excuses, but she’d ditch me for other people and tell me she was broke as if I wouldn’t find out it was a lie. If you’re gonna lie, fine, but don’t post pics of your nights out on FB.
But this tale isn’t about how shifty J was. The tragic part was her last hurrah. After almost a year of not hearing a peep out of her I receive a message on Facebook from her asking why I didn’t attend her wedding. I told her that I hadn’t heard anything from her and as far as I was concerned we weren’t friends anymore. Friends are there when you need them most and she was not. I told her of the hard time I had when I returned to Ohio and all I got from her were excuses. I explained to her how I just found it hard to even keep going. Instead of trying to understand how I felt at that time she decided to twist the dagger a bit and tell me that “the phone works both ways” and that I “focus on the negative.” You’re right. My life was turned upside down. I lost my car, my home, and had to return to Ohio with and to nothing. I really should’ve had a fucking smile on my face after all that, right? What kind idiot says that to someone after something like that?
I’m never one to focus on 100% of the bad things someone has done to me. I always give credit where credit is due. I will always appreciate that the whole time I lived in Chicago she was the ONLY person solely to come visit me and she did that twice. I will always remember that. Family never even came to visit me, but she did. But my family did comfort me when I was on the verge of giving up and J was no where to be found. I think it angered me because I expected more from her. I thought if anyone could’ve help me get through the storm I was in it would’ve been her and I was sadly mistaken and it broke my heart.
-Asia Aneka Anderson, 2014(c)
The last few years of our friendship was mainly through text and social media since I had moved to Chicago. There were a few visits back home, but not many as money was very tight at the time. Two years ago money got extremely tight and I had to come back home to Ohio. J texted me that she was very excited I was coming home so that we could hang out like old times. Once I got back it really was like old times. J is one of those people who will never ask you to do something, she waits for you to contact her. So if I asked her to do something on a day she’s busy and tell her to call me when she’s free I may as well forget ever getting that call. Before I moved away from home she would either do this, or she would give me a shitload of excuses, her favorite was “I’m broke.” because apparently it costs a ton of money to have a conversation with a friend that you may not see for a while *sarcasm*. When I got back into town those same excuses resurfaced. By this time I was very depressed because of my situation and not having my friends there to take my mind off of it made me slip deeper into depression. I just felt like no one cared. I could barely eat, get out of bed, or find a reason to even get dressed. It was a horrible time for me. Two years later and I’m still trying to cope, although I am much better than what I was. In about a 6 month period J only messaged me about 3 times. I had written her off long before that. I couldn’t see myself being friends with someone who would bail when their friends were in need. I’ll admit one of those messages was to ask how I was, but the the conversation quickly turned into her complaining about her life. Why she would complain about her stable life to someone who just lost everything is beyond me. The second message I got from her about 4 months later was to tell me she was engaged and the third message was for my address to send an invite. My best friend didn’t even ask for me to be in her wedding. I was hurt by that, but I had to remind myself that this wasn’t anyone for me to be around anymore anyways.
I had gotten tired of excuses from J. There were far too many in our friendship. I probably wouldn’t be as upset if she gave all her friends excuses, but she’d ditch me for other people and tell me she was broke as if I wouldn’t find out it was a lie. If you’re gonna lie, fine, but don’t post pics of your nights out on FB.
But this tale isn’t about how shifty J was. The tragic part was her last hurrah. After almost a year of not hearing a peep out of her I receive a message on Facebook from her asking why I didn’t attend her wedding. I told her that I hadn’t heard anything from her and as far as I was concerned we weren’t friends anymore. Friends are there when you need them most and she was not. I told her of the hard time I had when I returned to Ohio and all I got from her were excuses. I explained to her how I just found it hard to even keep going. Instead of trying to understand how I felt at that time she decided to twist the dagger a bit and tell me that “the phone works both ways” and that I “focus on the negative.” You’re right. My life was turned upside down. I lost my car, my home, and had to return to Ohio with and to nothing. I really should’ve had a fucking smile on my face after all that, right? What kind idiot says that to someone after something like that?
I’m never one to focus on 100% of the bad things someone has done to me. I always give credit where credit is due. I will always appreciate that the whole time I lived in Chicago she was the ONLY person solely to come visit me and she did that twice. I will always remember that. Family never even came to visit me, but she did. But my family did comfort me when I was on the verge of giving up and J was no where to be found. I think it angered me because I expected more from her. I thought if anyone could’ve help me get through the storm I was in it would’ve been her and I was sadly mistaken and it broke my heart.
-Asia Aneka Anderson, 2014(c)
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