Showing posts from April, 2015
Day 120: Every. Single. Year #ItsGonnaBeMay #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals IG-AsiaAneka
Day 119: I love seeing my people stand up for what's right. I wish I was marching with y'all #StopKillingUs #ImWithYouBaltimore #prayforbaltimore #BlackLivesMatter #2015 #365DaysOfHappy IG-AsiaAneka
Day 118: April is #NationalPoetryMonth and since it's almost over here's the latest I wrote that I feel is also very important #BlackLivesMatter #TargetOnMyBack #PrayForBaltimore #StopKillingUs #WeAreNotThugs #poem #poetry #Instapoet #Instapoetry #PoetsOfInstagram #amwriting #2015 #365daysofhappy #happygoals #myedit #InsideMyCreativeMind IG-AsiaAneka

Target On My Back

I can’t live with a target on my back.
It’s no longer “hands up don’t shoot.”
The higher my hands don’t stop the bullets.
The lighter my skin don’t stop the stares.
These targets don’t fade.
It’s open season.
The news stations love showing savages.
The cause at hand ignored.
Only the negative captured in the camera lens.
The message is freedom.
The fight is for justice.
You’re distracted by the word riot.
You’re distracted from the target on my back.
Can’t you see the anger?
Frustrated the value of my life is zero.
We are treated as nothing.
Can’t you see the suffering?
A mother burying her son.
A baby that will never know their parent.
All because of that target on their back.
A target that will never be erased.
Only change can make that diminish.
The only way we can change is if you acknowledge the target on my back.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, Target On My Back 2015©

Run Wild Child

She was a little girl with a fire in her heart.
Creating colorful worlds in her mind.
Everything became so magical.
An imagination that took her everywhere.
All she ever wanted was to run free.
Never wanting the fire inside to die.
She wanted that fire to move mountains.
Climbing atop the tallest she could find.
The chill in the air made her feel alive.
As the little girl grew she had to return to  safer plains.
Still that fire burned.
That urge to run free raged inside.
She tried to calm her younger self.
“We have responsibilities now.”
“No more time for childish things.”
The fire dimmed, but still it burned.
If only she could release that wild child.
To live as she wanted to live.
Throw caution to the wind.
To be young and foolish.
If only she could have stayed true to her wild roots.
All she wanted is to forever be a wild child.
To never let that creative fire burn out.
Her wild imagination slowly faded.
Her younger self screaming to break free.
Shaking the burden of resp…

This Is Art: Learn, Create, and Share

This is a business plan for an art gallery I’d love to own one day.
        With most art galleries and museums the only art that is displayed is drawing, painting, sculpture, photography, and maybe, JUST MAYBE videography.
        I want an art gallery that showcases all art. I’m talking about poetry, acting, dancing, music, comedians, fashion design, etc. This is all art to me and I believe there should be a place where it can ALL come together.
        In my gallery I’d love to have themes/events. For instance perhaps during February we’d display art that represents black history, or dancers would choreograph an interpretive dance, film students can make short films on the subject, etc. Also think in terms of October for breast cancer awareness, or a freedom theme for Independence day or 9/11. It’d be nice to, with the exception of whole themed months, to possibly have each week in a month dedicated to a certain field of art; like week 1: poetry, week 2: painting, wee…

Waiting For My Past

Mourning a door that’s closed.
Saddened by failure.
So consumed by grief the opportunities ahead go ignored.
Focused on what won’t be instead of what could be.
I stand in my own way for fear of more failure.
When one door closes another one opens.
I can’t see the fortunes for my back is turned.
Banging on the doors of misfortune to reopen.
Seemingly rather be swallowed alive that birthed anew.
I keep moving backwards wondering what went wrong.
Flogging myself for my mistakes.
Wanting to be immune to failure.
Wanting what I want instead of what's in the plan.
Aware that the grass may be greener on the other side.
Fearful to leave the lawn I once owned.
I stand waiting for memories to reoccur.
Afraid that my future won’t look how I dreamed.
I stare at that door that slammed in my face.
There may be something there left unfinished.
If I could just turn around.
Let the past be.
Through the door behind me things could be much clearer.
For now I’ll never know that for sure.
I still wait…
“Let’s create a masterpiece of what our futures will be.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©

Fighting To Survive

Surviving is a tricky thing.
The day starts with the decision whether or not to get out of bed.
Some days you can’t move.
You’re paralyzed.
You try to force yourself to live.
You put on your war paint.
It’s a smile on top of a broken spirit.
Surviving just to be alive.
Is it worth it?
Some days the war paint smears from the tears that fall.
There is no surviving to live life.
Just merely existing.
Day after day of just being.
The adventures are nil.
The smiles are forgotten.
You fight to survive, but with no reason.
As the day goes on your mask starts to chip away.
Your hidden frown is unveiled.
Some ask if you’re okay just to be polite.
Most stare as if sadness is contagious.
You slink away to not cause a mass outbreak of your poisonous thoughts.
You survive being alive alone.
You reach out to save yourself.
Do you even want to be saved?
You can see life waiting for you live it.
All you can manage is being barely alive.
You fight for life to no avail.
So you wait it out while only…

Lessons In My Life

I learn from myself each and everyday. I’d be a fool to say that I am the person that I’m meant to be. I’d also be a fool to say that I don’t have a long way to go to even be half the person I want to be.
        One lesson that need to learn is to stop punishing myself. I feel like I’ve had many failures in my life and I make myself pay dearly for them. I hold things over my own head and feel like “Why didn’t you do this that way?” or “Why aren’t you at x point in your life yet?” I try to remind myself that failures and setbacks are going to happen and everyone’s life path is different, but that doesn’t keep me from punishing myself. As I’ve posted several times before, I lost my home in Chicago back in December 2012. It is 2015 and I am still making myself feel like shit over it. I literally did all that I feel I could do, but there’s always a part of me that feels that I could’ve done more. There’s a part of me who hates myself for allowing it to happen. Things like …
“If I stare into forever will the present be brighter?”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
“I imagine our souls dancing in the moonlight til dawn.”

- Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©

I Am In Pieces

My brain, like my heart, is broken.
My body, like my spirit, is broken.
Picking up the pieces that crumble apart.
I try to put them back together.
Parts missing forever.
In a state of disrepair.
Everything starts to collapse.
Broken pieces turning to dust.
My spirit and heart fly away with the wind.
My brain. My body.
My heart. My spirit.
All shattered.
I am not whole.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, I Am In Pieces 2015©
Day 117: I love this band more than anything. #PassionPit #Kindred #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals IG-AsiaAneka
Day 116: I'm glad ‪#‎FedUp‬ is finally on ‪#‎Netflix‬. I honestly didn't know the amount of sugars in certain foods, but now I have some knowledge and can make some changes so that I can be better #2015 ‪#‎365DaysOfHappy‬‪#‎HappyGoals‬ IG-AsiaAneka
Day 115: I woke up yesterday with an overwhelming urge to write. I wrote several poems and short stories. You have no idea how good it felt for my brain to wake me up and say "Start writing! Keep going!" now hopefully I'm off to do some more. #InsideMyCreativeMind #amwriting #poem #poetry #shortstory #writing #2015 #365daysofhappy #HappyGoals IG-AsiaAneka
Day 114: Eyeliner is everything. SN: not sure if this hair is pissing me off or giving me life. #2015 #HappyGoals #365DaysOfHappy IG-AsiaAneka

The Man You Once Were

You make it hard for me to remember the man you were.

The smile you once put on my face is long gone.

All I see is the the destruction you’ve caused.

Little remorse for the hearts you broke.

I notice the pain in your eyes.

Even you wonder where the man you were went.

Shuffling through life as an empty shell.

I watch in confusion.

My guidance ignored.

I know not whether to hate or reason.

I no longer see an ounce of the man you were.

It frightens you he no longer exists.

Leaving a trail of tears from lives you once touched.

All hope diminished.

Beyond help.

Beyond saving.

I mourn the man you once were.
...As do you.

A waste of a fine human being.

I wonder what the old you would say.

Would he shake his head in disappointment?

Plead for you to think of brighter days?

He’d probably urge you to notice you shattering her heart.

The one who stood by you now stands so far away.

Her heart aches for the man you were.

She wonders if you notice.

She wonders if you care.

“I wish I could put your love in a bottle and open it on days that I feel blue.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©

“Everyone’s forgotten about me including myself.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©

“The cold bite of an angry heart damaged through time.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©

Day 113: Eh, I always liked Ronald Miller better than #McDreamy. He was my first love. #VictimOfShondaRhimes #CryingForever #DamnYouShonda! #GreysAnatomy #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals IG-AsiaAneka

Darkness In Me

There’s a darkness in my rear view.
A shadow that follows me everywhere.
From the corner of my eye I see it lurk.
Cursed since birth this demon has become a part of me.
His booming voice rattles the core of my soul.
Holding me back from joy.
He keeps me fixed under his spell.
I struggle to break free.
I yearn to breathe again.
But the darkness seduces me.
He makes me feel at home.
He leads me to believe that no one will love me like the shadows.
Again he lurks behind me.
He shields my view of hope.
I’m left in despair.
This darkness has a hold on me.
He pulls me in deeper.
The more I struggle the darker it gets.
I have become the shadows.
Drowning in pity and hopelessness.
I’ll never break free for I am entwined.
I was chosen at birth to embody the darkness.
The shadows do not have a hold on me.
I am the shadows.
I have become what I fear.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, Darkness In Me 2015©

Road To My Future

The future is a scary place.
Stepping into the unknown.
The fear and anxiousness of what will be.
Will we live up to what the child in us imagined?
Will our path take us places beyond our wildest dreams?
We brace ourselves to be knocked down.
Prepared for life’s unexpected turns.
We find love and sometimes lose it.
We succeed and we fail.
The future is scary because we’re unaware of what it will bring.
We plan our journey only for obstacles to form in our path.
Sometimes they’ll stop us dead in our tracks.
No signs of how to go around.
We wave our white our white flag at change.
We try to force life down that same track only to be detoured further.
Some smile at the roadblocks and push forward.
The future can be downright frightening.
We don’t know what we’ll face.
Whether we’re up for the challenge is the test.
Yes, the future can be scary, but the detours along the way can be worthwhile.
Some good. Some bad.
Only we hold the reigns to our future path.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, Road To My…

What's Ahead

Await the next phase.
Happy for the joys to come.
Just dive in head first.

-Asia Aneka Anderson What’s Ahead 2015©
“She smiled remembering the way he’d lovingly brush her cheek.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
“Peace of mind is all I crave to survive here.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
“Love can only be what’s real.”

- Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
Goals: To own a brand new Dodge Challenger
Day 112: So happy how tonight's #Catfish went down and Nev & Max's positive message about the #trans community. The LGBTQ+ community will always have a supporter in me. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals IG-AsiaAneka
Day 111: getting my #Tumblr looking all nice and professional... Sorta. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #Amwriting IG-AsiaAneka
Day 110: Joss never lies #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #JossWhedon IG-AsiaAneka
This weekend was definitely a triggerpalooza weekend. Every weekend I feel like shit because of my grandmother. I think that woman is doing more damage to my mental health that anything in my life. I want to be there and supportive of her since my aunt passed but I’m so close to just telling her that she really needs to set up an appointment with a therapist or grief counselor because I can’t be around her anymore for the sake of my own health. We’ve all suffered a loss and we all have other things we’re going through, but we don’t have to be asshole to each other.
        Every weekend I have to hear her body shame other people, say unnecessary homophobic or transphobic things. Hell even this weekend we were watching a “Say Yes to the Dress” episode and there was a lesbian couple. The first words out of her mouth are “So who’s the man?” I told her “Neither. Men have penises and they have vaginas. You’re old enough to know that part of the anatomy.” That was completely …

Tragic Boyfriend Tales #6

Boyfriend R was a weird one. It was one of those things where I noticed at the time, but would overlook a lot of things because I loved him. Once it was over I had to wonder how we didn’t crash and burn in one weeks time.
        Since we were in a long distance relationship whenever I would come home from school breaks I’d drive to his school (since it was on the way to our hometown) and I’d either stay there or we would drive home together. On one of my many trips I was only there to see him and not passing through for a family holiday.
        One afternoon during this trip I needed to use his laptop. I can’t remember if it was to do a school assignment for myself or to help him (I used to help him a lot with his essays) or if it was just to mess around on the internet. He was in the front room of his dorm playing video games, while I was in his bedroom. I don’t remember what site I was trying to visit, but I remember typing in the letter ‘C’ and a link auto-populat…
People can see the sadness on my face and never ask if I’m okay. Even if they did the answer would always be the same. “I feel like I’m dying but God won’t let me sleep.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
Goals: To end up with a man that is nothing like my father.
Day 109: Better late than never. I love this show. #MadMen #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #AMC IG-AsiaAneka
Day 108: trying on cute clothes #2015 #365daysofhappy #happygoals #selfie #naturalista #teamnatural #naturalhair #Spring IG-AsiaAneka
Day 107: This dude always makes me laugh cause he's funny as fuck. #ChrisDelia #Incorrigible #Netflix #2015 #365daysofhappy #happygoals IG-AsiaAneka
Day 106: it's a #RHCP kind of day. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #Spotify #RedHotChiliPeppers IG-AsiaAneka
“I’ve failed so much that success seems like a myth.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
“My mind is so exhausted, but I can never sleep.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
Goals: To have a son that I’ll name Jude Maxwell Harrison
Goals: To have a daughter that I’ll name Lennon Mccartney
Goals: To lose 40 more pounds.
Goals: To own a piglet that I’ll name Violet.
Day 105: It's a work in progress #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals IG-AsiaAneka
“I’ll live on forever for my dreams will never die.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
“I’m frozen in time with you.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015 ©
Goals: To be happy
Goals: To move back to Chicago or go to NYC.
Goals: To send more kind anon messages to my followers so that they know they’re appreciated and amazing.
Just outside enjoying the rain #Dayton #Ohio IG-AsiaAneka 
Day 104: "Time to put on my flats" type of weather #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals IG-AsiaAneka
Day 103: The sky before it rains. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #Dayton #Ohio IG-AsiaAneka

The Reason Why I Write

I recently entered a writing contest that only required me to answer one question: “Why did you start a blog?” At first I thought “Too easy.” but as I started typing I realized how much of an effect something like starting a blog has had on me. Since this essay had to be under 700 words I narrowed it down and made some cuts, but my whole process to starting a blog is too complex for 700 words.
        My very first blog, LovelyAsia, was strictly for me to write movie and music reviews. I was stuck in a shitty job in Chicago at the time, but my whole reason for moving to Chicago in the first place was to go to school and earn my degree in journalism. By this time I had dropped out of school because I could no longer afford it which led me to take that shitty job in the first place. When I started that blog it was my way of trying to start something that had once made me happy and to get some practice as I sent my resume to local papers and magazines in hopes that I would…
Goals: I want to write, direct, and star in a movie.
Goals: I want my stories to resonate with the world.
Goals: To help as many people as possible in my lifetime.
Day 102: My hair just keeps getting bigger and it's glorious. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #naturalista #teamnatural #naturalhair #FroLove #BigHair #selfie IG-AsiaAneka
Day 101: Just inject it into my veins! #teajunkie #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals IG-AsiaAneka
Goals: To surprise my mom with a trip to Egypt and South Africa
Goals: To visit India
Day 100: Happy #NationalSiblingsDay... Oh wait. #OnlyChildFTW #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals IG-AsiaAneka
“Trying to change the world one word at a time.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
“How am I alive without living?”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
“Smiling like the tears don’t matter.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
Day 99: It's a #Tupac kind of night. #2015 #HappyGoals #365DaysOfHappy #AllEyezOnMe IG-AsiaAneka
“I’ll go to sleep to the sounds of birds chirping.”

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
Goals: I am going to finish at least one of my books this year. No if, ands, or buts about it.
Goals: watch everything on Netflix.
Goals: Learn how to play the violin.
"Everyday the sun shines much brighter."

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
"I fought to become a warrior."

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015©
"Forget being perfect. Just be free."

-Asia Aneka Anderson 2015 ©
Day 98: I didn't realize that today was 4/8/15 (16,23,42). I miss #Lost. #BestShowEver #2015 #365daysofhappy #happygoals #WeHaveToGoBack IG-AsiaAneka
Day 97: #TheBeatles are everything to me and if you insult them it just makes me want to punch you in the dick. #AllINeedIsBeatles #TheyreBiggerThanJesusTho #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #Tumblr #LovelyAsia #DontBeACunt IG-AsiaAneka
Day 96: The only #mcm I'll ever need. #AintHePretty #INeedIt #HeWillBeMine #BMW #2015 #365daysofhappy #happygoals IG-AsiaAneka
Day 95: I miss Kurt. His music still never hesitates to take me to a different world. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals #RIPKurt #KurtCobain #myedit IG-AsiaAneka
Day 94: I think us women should let each other know this often. So many of us tear each other down for no reason. I'm trying to be better, but it's hard when you grow up around a bunch of women who tear down other women like it's a hobby. No one is better than the other. We are all beautiful in our own way. We need to recognize and embrace that. To anyone reading this, you are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you different. Spread love instead of the hate #2015 #365daysofhappy #happygoals #beautiful #YouAreBeautiful #myedit IG-AsiaAneka
Day 93: I really really want a piggy, and I will get one someday. #2015 #365DaysOfHappy #HappyGoals IG-AsiaAneka

Review: Curls Cashmere Curl Jelly

Hello my naturalistas!

        I want to review a product I've been using for about the past two months that I very much love. It's from Curls and it's their cashmere curl jelly.
        I have never tried a product from this line before. My aunt, who passed in January, was a hair stylist and I found this in her collection and thought I'd give it a try. On the bottle it does say "for sale in professional salons only". Searching online I have yet to see a bottle this size. I've mainly only found this product in 8oz bottles.
        How I use this product is after I've done my LOC method (liquid. oil. cream). I use it so that it will hold my twists better. It has a great slip to it and it isn't thick or sticky like you would assume with a jelly. It also has a nice smell to it. It sort of reminds me of oranges, but not too strong. I apply a very small amount to my hair and then twist. I can tell right after I twist my hair that it has a nice shine to…