Tragic Best Friend Tales #2

        Where do I even start with my friend S? Although our friendship took a quick nosedive it seemed almost like I was watching a car crash in slow motion before unexpectedly exploding.
        I met S in high school. She was a grade lower than me, but her and I became very fast friends. She was really outspoken, funny, and remained herself always. Most people in high school are always trying to keep up a reputation, but S gave zero fucks and I liked that about her. She was definitely one of those kids you see in the high school movies who was part of the stoner crowd, but only more rambunctious and in your face. We were somewhat complete opposites. She didn’t care what people thought, said whatever was on her mind, loud, and dared to be different. I was more reserved, cared slightly about what people thought, and was very very quiet around people who weren’t in my social circle.
        I loved S almost like a sister and like anyone like that you sort of overlook their faults. I’ve always been the type of person who wouldn’t overlook someone’s faults, but would actually embrace them. I mean, if you care about a person you take the good with the bad. S was a compulsive liar as well as a shit starter. I knew that fairly early on, but it didn’t keep me from being best friends with her. With this information I knew I had to watch what I said around her… sometimes. I’m not really the type of person who cares if a person finds out I’ve said something about them, it’s just my words being twisted that I had to watch out for.
        When our friendship first started to go left it was after I graduated. I can’t remember if S was still in school because she had to repeat freshman year at one point and I believe she eventually dropped out. The first time I really started to look at her different is when she turned a mutual friend of ours against me. S was closer to this girl than I was, but we all ran in the same group. This mutual friend had a baby while we were still in school. One day S and I were talking about it and she mentioned that she didn’t know why her friend would have a baby with this guy (also a mutual friend) if he didn’t seem like he was all that interested in her. She mainly did all the talking and was really badmouthing her friends boyfriend. Me, being the random and off the wall with remarks type person (as was she), said “If I was in that situation I’d want somebody to punch me in the gut.” S and I would always say these morbid types of things… actually all of the people I’ve ever hung around with talk this way which is why I didn’t think I had to watch what I said. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t want kids and I especially didn’t want any at 18 years old. Weeks later our mutual friend is yelling at me because S went back and told her that I said she had no business with a baby and should’ve been kicked in the stomach. I would never say anything that horrible to or about anyone, and no matter how much I tried to say that to her she took S’s side over mine, even though she also knew how much S lied.
        A few years later S and I were still friends, but it wouldn’t be for long. We had another mutual friend from high school who was actually my very best friend at that time (and the brother of the guy who got the other girl pregnant) who I just happened to be head over heels in love with. We decided to start a relationship after years of just being friends. By this time I had gotten sick and tired of S sticking her nose into my business so knowing our tangled web of friends I asked my new boyfriend to not say anything to S about it. I didn’t want her to spout off any lies to his brother, or worse, put any false words into his head to make him look at me differently. I asked him to say “No” if S were to ever ask if we were dating. One night while I was at home web surfing with my cousin I get an IM from S. She wanted to know about me and my new boyfriend because he told her that were weren’t together. I just brushed it off and told her it was no big deal and that it was between him and I. She wouldn’t let it go. She kept asking and asking until I eventually told her that I asked him to say that because the relationship was between us and I didn’t want anyone to start shit to try and break it up since I really loved him. S just would not stop bugging me about it and called me out of my name, just overall getting pissy about something that didn’t have anything to do with her. I kept telling her to mind her business and eventually my cousin took over and told her to back off. It got to a point where S, when talking to my cousin, said “This is why I failed school cause of niggers like you.” Whoa. I don’t know how you go from telling someone to stay out of your relationship to being called a “nigger”, but okay. More than just the racial slur I didn’t understand her logic of saying black people made her become a freshman twice. I think that had more to do with her skipping school to go smoke and drink. I’ll admit that I spent a week after this incident trying to track her down before I realized that it wasn’t worth it. So, I’d kick her ass and then what? I’d probably be in jail and she would get the satisfaction of knowing she started shit and got me riled up.
        Since this has happened only her little sister has apologized. She made it clear that she didn’t think my cousin or I shouldn’ve have been called that and that it went too far. It sucks because had she just apologized we could’ve ended this on a decent note. I don’t like ending relationships with people abruptly because it just always feels unfinished to me. I don’t like loose ends. I still talk to her sister from time to time, she’s pretty cool. As far as S goes another mutual friend of ours told me that she adopted a disabled teenage black kid. That raised red flags to me because of my experience with her. I hope for that kids sake she’s grown up. She had her anger issues in the past and I’d hate to think that if this kid were to do something wrong, and not understand it was wrong, would just get yelled at, talked down to, or called some racial slur. Years have passed since this has happened and I just have to have faith that she’s become better.

-Asia Aneka Anderson

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