Is it possible to have someone’s presence make you incredibly angry? I swear every time I’m around my grandmother I’m just so fucking angry. Like I love her because she’s my grandmother, but that’s the only love I got for her. She spent so much of my childhood making me the black sheep and putting my cousins above me and now I’m just filled with so much anger towards her. Like a blinding rage. What makes it worse is if she does something that triggers me or says something that’s completely offensive and I call her on it, she never apologizes. She’ll make excuses or divert the conversation, but she never apologizes for anything or takes responsibility for her actions. She has no concern for how this might affect me at all which let’s me know that I’m not shit. Never have been in this family and never will be. I feel like this feeling I have towards my family is abnormal cause I was never abused or anything like that so why the anger? But I just feel like I’ve never mattered and no ones actions has proved me wrong in that.

-Asia Aneka Anderson