My mom and I took my grandma to this festival in her neighborhood
that she wanted to go to. At one point after we grabbed some food my mom
points out this cute kid that’s clinging to her moms leg because she
wants to be picked up. We both playfully laugh with the mom (Who’s a bit
of a distance from us.) The mom picks the girl up and my grandma says
“I wouldn’t have picked her up. Let her fat ass walk. There’s nothing
wrong with her legs.” Did I mention the little girl looked to be about
2-3 years old? My grandma called a toddler a “fat ass”. Have I also
mentioned that quite a few women in this family suffer(ed) from body
image issues and/or eating disorders? Hmmmm….. I wonder where that comes
from? Either way it’s unnecessary to call someone a “fat ass” and it’s
more than disgusting to use that term to describe a child.
After we were done eating and I told her how awful a person she was, we
walked around and looked at some of the stuff people were selling. Out
of the blue she asks “When y'all were into The In Sing did you know that
guy was gay? Was he not gay then?” 1. Who the fuck is “The In Sing”? 2.
NSYNC broke up like 10 years ago so why is this relevant? 3. And no he
totally wasn’t gay then. He turned on the gay switch when the band band
broke up and 4. Why do bring up gay people out of the blue all the time
when you know you’re gonna say something dumb and offensive that is
gonna push my buttons and make me go off?
We decided
to sit again and see this cover band play doo-wop. A few songs in this
mom sits next to me with her two young kids. Her youngest, a little boy
about 2 years old, was a total ham. He was dancing all over the place,
moving his little Spider-man chair in front of the stage, and trailing
this older lady who was photographing the band because he became
completely obsessed with her camera (Although I think his mom should’ve
grabbed him because at one point he followed the woman back to her seat
and kept trying to climb onto her lap). It was completely cute and
everyone in our section was laughing more at him than the band making
jokes. When the set was over my mom and I were still laughing about this
kid and how he must’ve gotten on the one woman’s nerves. My grandma
just blurts out “I think he was mixed.” because that totally was a
factor in the conversation and totally explained his mischievous
behavior.
If it doesn’t have to do with race,
weight, or homosexuality she has nothing to say and they are the things
she probably should keep her mouth shut about or at least think before
she speaks. I swear I feel tense whenever I’m around her. It’s like
nothing but offensive shit flies out of her mouth and when you call her
on it she’s not even adult enough to at least say “Okay I can see how
that may be hurtful or ignorant.” She just kinda laughs it off. Like,
no, its not funny. I shouldn’t have to tell you this shit EVERY time I’m
around you. As a human being you should know that some of the crap that
falls out of your mouth is hurtful. Period. It’s not rocket science. It
doesn’t take a Yale graduate to know you shouldn’t do something like
call a 3 year old “fat ass”. I’m so glad that I have two jobs now cause
I’d rather work overtime than be around her, honestly. I know that my
mom feels she needs to take care of her since my aunt passed, but my
grandmother needs to learn how to take care of some of her own business,
take advice good people try to give her, think before speaking, and
more importantly seek some therapy or pay for mine cause I feel like I
need a therapist after every visit with her. She is mentally exhausting.
-Asia Aneka Anderson
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