Showing posts from September, 2016

The Ramblings Inside My Creative Mind: Love Don’t Live Here

I give up on the prospect of ever finding love.The likelihood of it ever happening the way I imagine it seems slim to none. Perhaps it’s all my fault. I am picky. I am anti social. I do have this 80s style rom com view on romance. It’s as if I’m waiting for John Cusack to play Peter Gabriel outside of my bedroom window. Things like that don’t happen. There’s no “Your hand fits perfectly in mine” or “You complete me” or “You had me at hello”. That type of romance doesn’t exist. The feeling of being swept off of my feet by a soul mate won’t happen. Maybe a such thing as a soul mate doesn’t exist. Maybe we just run into people in life that we like enough to want to be around forever and either love or habit occurs. Twice in my life have I ran into men that I thought were my soul mates. The first one popped in and out of my life for over 14 years and cheated on me every time we decided to get serious, but because we got together so well as friends I convinced myself…
It’s come to my realization that maybe I should just blog some random thoughts here. My motivation is blah. No story ideas. My poems are all starting to sound the same. I just don’t really care about it anymore. Well I do, I just don’t know what to say anymore without it sounding stale and exaggerated. I’m still going through every emotion possible while also feeling nothing at the same time. An aunt told my mom recently about a medium she went to and my mom and I are hoping to go next weekend when I’m off of work. I’m not sure if I’m hoping it will give me some closure, but perhaps it will. I think I’m just looking for something to put my mind at ease. I want something to help me move along in this grieving process and also something to put my mind at ease about my past and future. I just want to feel like my life until this point isn’t for nothing because it damn sure feels like it. I have a hard time seeing what this life thing is all about, but I’m always hoping that…

My Words Are Me

I am my words.
My words are me.
Giving you my all with the tap of a keyboard.
This is me.
In my true form.
My words are everything I am.
There is nothing else but these words.
I write from the deepest part of my soul.
These words escape to the surface of my being.
These words are everything.
These words are my truth.
I am truth.
I am my words.
My words.
My truth.
This is all I’ll ever have.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, My Words Are Me 2016©

Tragic Crush Tales #10

Crush E is my latest in a series of men that have completely wasted my time of the past few years. I seem to be attracting a lot of that lately. Every time I find it surprising that men over the age of 23 still play games and then play victim when you call them on it.
        I first met this guy through Instagram. That was my first mistake. How on Earth did I think I could possibly take anyone serious on Instagram of all places. I don’t even remember how or why we started talking, but we hit it off really well. I got along with him, thought he was funny, handsome, and that we had a lot in common. Unfortunately he lived in Chicago and I’m not in a place financially to be able to move back just yet.
        We started talking around Halloween of 2015 and quickly exchanged numbers. We texted a lot, but for some reason he sort of vanished around Thanksgiving. I’ve said it before, but I’m not the kind of girl who likes to pester someone. We all have lives, families, …