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Showing posts from August, 2017

Note To Self

Why don’t you bleed for this?
Why won’t you die for it?
If it is a passion where is yours?
If it is undeniable why do you deny it?
Where is your thirst?
Where is your determination?
Where is the want?
You want this.
Don’t you?
You work past the fear.
You work through the “no’s”
Even the ones you tell yourself.
Only then will you find your passion.
There you will bleed, suffer, and die for this.
How much do you want it?
No one said it would be easy.
But the hardest things are always the most worthy.
Do you sill want to give up now?
You got a taste of it.
There’s no way you can turn back now.
Give passion to your passion.
Go after what makes you happy.
After all, life is short.
Remove yourself from blocking yourself.
Only you are in the way.
Only you tell you that you don’t have what it takes.
The lies you tell yourself.
In fact, you can conquer all.
Continue the battle until you have won.
There is no other choice but victory.
You deserve every accomplishment you achieve.
If you bleed, …

The Ramblings Inside My Creative Mind: The Trials And Errors Of My Love Life

My love life is, for sure, a tragedy. It’s a combination of self sabotage, picking horribly, and bad timing. It’s a complete clusterfuck, and to be honest my love life has been nothing but a clusterfuck from my very first date. I thought it was something that would improve with time and age, and in a way it has, but definitely not too much.
        For the past six years I have been single. Yes. Six. Fucking. Years. Shoot me. I’m not even sure what happened and how time escaped me the way that it did. Somehow six years went by where I had not been intimate with a man. That seems absolutely insane. That’s something you hear and expect the end of the story to wind up with the girl becoming a nun. That is definitely not my story. My story involves hectic work schedules, over stressed, financial ruin, major setbacks, major bouts of depression, deaths in the family, more depression, blah, blah, blah. It was never ending. I barely had time for human contact because eve…

Lost In My Mind

What happens when your mind gets lost?
What happens when happy thoughts turn to sad?
Where does it stop?
When does it end?
My mind doesn’t pause.
Nor does it stop.
Thoughts that taunt me endlessly.
Convince me that I’m not good enough when I start to feel peace.
Tells me I’m not pretty enough when my confidence start to peak.
My own thoughts are my only enemies.
Steady somewhere between not good enough and barely getting by.
My mind stuck in a prison begging to be free.
Those little flickers of light bring hope.
Suddenly the clanging of the bars ring loud and clear.
So what happens when my mind gets lost?
My thoughts go dark.
What happens when happy goes to sad?
Hopelessness soon follows.
Where does it stop or end?
I don’t know.
I don’t think it ever does.

-Asia Aneka Anderson, Lost In My Mind 2017©